Lord of War


Current Reviews
DVD Reviews
Old Reviews
Crystal Ball
About the M.R.
Photo Gallery
Celebrity Interviews












Lord of War
The Masked Reviewer

Nicolas Cage (who you may remember from Raising Arizona, a couple of movies set in Vegas (Leaving and Honeymoon in), Con-Air, The Rock, and a bunch of other stuff) stars in this film about a gun runner.  Does that give too much away?  Possibly.  Why?  Because there isn't much else to give away.

Jared Leto (who you may remember from...um...well, he seems familiar) plays his brother.  They're both Ukrainian immigrants.  Bridget Moynahan (who you may remember from I, Robot, but it's hard to imagine remembering much of anything from I, Robot) plays his wife.

The Masked Reviewer's notes for this film are very sparse.  In fact, the only note was Deal of the Century, which was to remind readers about that other gun-runner movie with Chevy Chase and Gregory Hines.  The two movies have more in common than you might think.  Remember much about Deal of the Century?  No?  Well, you won't remember much about Lord of War.

Oh wait, Ethan Hawke is also in Lord of War

Here's the first problem with the movie: the previews and advertisements make it look like a comedy; every line is a joke in the preview.  However, it's not really a comedy.  It's not really a drama.  It's based on "true events", but not clear if it's a true story.  It's not clear if the characters are real or not.  One could probably find out with just a few moments of research on the web, but quite frankly, it's hardly worth it.

That's not to say that Lord of War is bad...the actors are all fine.  The situation seems somewhat interesting, and real-world people are woven into the story, which may or may not be real.  Either way, it's just not terribly interesting.  The morality of guns and war and "if I don't do it, someone else will" are all explored, but not in any kind of deep or meaningful way.  Bad things happen that should affect the character, but none of them ultimately seem to have much impact, and Nicolas Cage moves from scene to scene with a strange, detached numbness.  That's the character, but it's hard to know how you're supposed to feel about the character.  The result is, you probably won't feel much about his character, or any of the other characters. 

Aside from a few funny lines, there are supposed to be some really heavy scenes, but they don't play particularly well, either.  It's hard to put the Masked Reviewer's finger on what exactly is wrong with the movie; nothing is bad, nothing is great, and the whole thing winds up being just sort of...nothing.  It's a long film (over 2 hours) and it never quite gets to being boring, though it comes close to boring quite frequently.  For a movie about guns, not much exciting happens. 

It's hard to come up with a single compelling reason to see the movie, other than very brief nudity.  Nicolas Cage doesn't have enough Cagieness going on to wow his fans in this one.  Ethan Hawke is in a very brief supporting role.  The story isn't great.  The acting is okay but nothing special.  Eh.  If you've got two hours to kill, you probably won't hate it, but there's not much to like. 

This is from the same director that did Gattaca, if that tells you anything you need to know.

If you hate movies that have absolutely no impact on you, stay away from Lord of War.  If you don't mind killing two hours , this will do the job.  It can't get a bad review, though it seems like it should, but the very occasional funny line (all of which were spoiled in the trailers, by the way) does make it interesting enough to be below average.

Hey, if you like Nicolas Cage, take the Nicolas Cage Movie Poster Quiz!


Expectation from the Title: The new musical spectacular from Andrew Lloyd Webber, featuring Aires and his twirling swordsmen. 

Mother's Rule (Always Say Something Good About Everything):  Nicolas Cage always seems to find suits that fit him well.  He must have a good tailor.

The Pros: Eh. 

The Cons: Bleh.

Nick Cage, Nicholas Cage, Jahred Lehto, The Lord of War, Bridget Moynihan

Home | 28 Days Later | The 40-Year-Old Virgin | 50 First Dates | A Lot Like Love | A Man Apart | A Mighty Wind | Adaptation | After the Sunset | Against the Ropes | Alexander | Alien versus Predator | Along Came Poly | Anchorman | Anger Management | Anything Else | Around the World in 80 Days | Bad Boys II | Bad Santa | Batman Begins | Be Cool | Beauty Shop | Beyond Borders | The Big Bounce | Blade: Trinity | The Bourne Supremacy | Brother Bear | Bulletproof Monk | The Butterfly Effect | Cabin Fever | Cat in the Hat | Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ( not Willy Wonka ) | Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle | Chronicles of Riddick | Coach Carter | Collateral | The Cooler | The Core | Corpse Bride | Cradle 2 Grave | Criminal | The Dancer Upstairs | Dawn of the Dead | Daredevil | The Day After Tomorrow | Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalow | Dirty Pretty Things | Down with Love | The Dukes of Hazard | Dumb and Dumberer | Elektra | Elf | Envy | Eternal Sunshine | Fantastic Four | Fever Pitch | Flight of the Phoenix | Flightplan | Freaky Friday | Freddy vs. Jason | Gigli | Gothika | The Haunted Mansion | Hero | Hidalgo | Hitch | Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy | Hollywood Homicide | The Hulk | The Hunted | I, Robot | Identity | IMAX Matrix Reloaded | The Incredibles | Intolerable Cruelty | Irreversible | The Island | The Italian Job | Jeepers Creepers 2 | Jersey Girl | Johnny English | Kill Bill Volume 1 | Kill Bill Volume 2 | King Arthur | Kung Fu Hustle | Ladder 49 | The Ladykillers | Land of the Dead | The Last Samurai | League of Extraordinary Gentlemen | Legally Blonde 2 | Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou | The Longest Yard | Lord of the Rings: Return of the King | Lord of War | Love, Actually | Madagascar | Man on Fire | The Macnhurian Candidate | Master and Commander | Matchstick Men | The Matrix Reloaded | Matrix Revolutions | The Medallion | Meet the Fockers | Monster | Mr. 3000 | Mr. and Mrs. Smith | Mystic River | National Treasure | Ocean's Twelve | Once Upon a Time in Mexico | Ong-bak | Open Range | Out of Time | The Pacifier | The Passion of the Christ | The Perfect Score | Pirates of the Caribbean | Pool Hall Junkies | The Punisher | Resident Evil:Apocalypse | Runaway Jury | Sahara | School of Rock | Seabiscuit | Secret Lives of Dentists | Secret Window | Serenity | Shark Tale | Shaun of the Dead | Shrek 2 | Sideways | Sin City | Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas | Sky High | Something's Gotta Give | Spanglish | Spellbound | Spider-Man 2 | Spongebob Squarepants Movie | Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith | Starsky & Hutch | The Station Agent | Stepford Wives | Stuck on You | Surviving Christmas | Suspect Zero | SWAT | Taxi | Team America | Terminator 3 | Timeline | Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life | Troy | Underworld | Unleashed | Uptown Girls | Van Helsing | The Village | Walking Tall | War of the World | Wedding Crashers | Welcome to Mooseport | The Whole Ten Yards | Without a Paddle | Wrong Turn | X-Men 2 | XXX: State of the Union | Action | Comedy | Documentary | Drama | Family | Epic | Family | Horror | Romance | Sci Fi

Copyright 2003, Michael D. Lynn