Nicolas Cage (who you may remember from
Raising Arizona, a couple of movies set in Vegas (Leaving and
Honeymoon in), Con-Air, The Rock, and a bunch of other stuff)
stars in this film about a gun runner. Does that give too much
away? Possibly. Why? Because there isn't much else to
Jared Leto (who you may remember from...um...well, he seems
familiar) plays his brother. They're both Ukrainian immigrants.
Bridget Moynahan (who you may remember from I, Robot, but it's
hard to imagine remembering much of anything from I, Robot) plays
The Masked Reviewer's notes for this film are very sparse. In
fact, the only note was Deal of the Century, which was to remind
readers about that other gun-runner movie with Chevy Chase and Gregory
Hines. The two movies have more in common than you might think.
Remember much about Deal of the Century? No? Well,
you won't remember much about Lord of War.
Oh wait, Ethan Hawke is also in Lord of War.
Here's the first problem with the movie: the previews and
advertisements make it look like a comedy; every line is a joke in the
preview. However, it's not really a comedy. It's not really
a drama. It's based on "true events", but not clear if it's a true
story. It's not clear if the characters are real or not. One
could probably find out with just a few moments of research on the web,
but quite frankly, it's hardly worth it.
That's not to say that Lord of War is bad...the actors are all
fine. The situation seems somewhat interesting, and real-world
people are woven into the story, which may or may not be real.
Either way, it's just not terribly interesting. The morality of
guns and war and "if I don't do it, someone else will" are all explored,
but not in any kind of deep or meaningful way. Bad things happen
that should affect the character, but none of them ultimately seem to
have much impact, and Nicolas Cage moves from scene to scene with a
strange, detached numbness. That's the character, but it's hard to
know how you're supposed to feel about the character. The result
is, you probably won't feel much about his character, or any of the
Aside from a few funny lines, there are supposed to be some really
heavy scenes, but they don't play particularly well, either. It's
hard to put the Masked Reviewer's finger on what exactly is wrong with
the movie; nothing is bad, nothing is great, and the whole thing winds
up being just sort of...nothing. It's a long film (over 2 hours)
and it never quite gets to being boring, though it comes close to boring
quite frequently. For a movie about guns, not much exciting
It's hard to come up with a single compelling reason to see the
movie, other than very brief nudity. Nicolas Cage doesn't
have enough Cagieness going on to wow his fans in this one. Ethan
Hawke is in a very brief supporting role. The story isn't great.
The acting is okay but nothing special. Eh. If you've got
two hours to kill, you probably won't hate it, but there's not much to
This is from the same director that did Gattaca, if that tells
you anything you need to know.
If you hate movies that have absolutely no impact on you, stay away
from Lord of War. If you don't mind killing two hours ,
this will do the job. It can't get a bad review, though it seems
like it should, but the very occasional funny line (all of which were
spoiled in the trailers, by the way) does make it interesting enough to
be below average.
Hey, if you like Nicolas Cage, take the
Nicolas Cage Movie Poster Quiz!
Expectation from the Title: The new musical spectacular from
Andrew Lloyd Webber, featuring Aires and his twirling swordsmen.
Mother's Rule (Always Say Something Good About Everything):
Nicolas Cage always seems to find suits that fit him well. He must
have a good tailor.
The Pros: Eh.
The Cons: Bleh.
Nick Cage, Nicholas Cage, Jahred Lehto,
The Lord of War, Bridget Moynihan