Hollywood Homicide


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Hollywood Homicide
The Masked Reviewer

Great cop movies are always a pleasure.  Great buddy movies can be a lot of fun.  Great comedies can be funny.  Great action movies can be exciting.  Great.  Which of these is Hollywood Homicide?  Great googily moogily if the Masked Reviewer knows.

This is a cop/buddy movie with old hunk perennial Harrison Ford and new hunk wannabe Josh Hartnett.  They're both very popular with the ladies.  And, they both have their charms.  They practically ooze charm, in their own individual way.  You know they've got to be charming, if they can ooze something and people still want to see them.  Even if it is charm.

Let's start with the music.  The opening rap is weak.  The Masked Reviewer is hesitant to criticize any rapper, especially after what happened to Tupac, but then again, he seems to have sold even more records since he was shot dead, so maybe that's the way to go.  The music is very B-movie light hip-hop.  It sets a tone of mediocrity.  Unfortunately, the movie has trouble living up to the music.

Well, okay.  It's hard to say that.  Hollywood Homicide isn't awful.  It's just not good.  That's not to say it's bad, but it surely isn't great.  Or good.  It's just...confused. 

First of all, what is Hollywood Homicide?  The first few previews that the Masked Reviewer saw for this film made it look like a lighthearted comedy.  But, the week before it opened, a new trailer made it look like a hard hitting action-suspense-drama.  "Okay," one might think to oneself, "that's just a marketing ploy."  But, even after seeing it, it's still hard to tell.  And don't take that to mean that it's both an action-suspense-drama and a lighthearted-cop-buddy movie.  It's neither. 

The first two-thirds of the film are not particularly funny or exciting.  Or interesting.  Things are happening, but it's somewhat convoluted and slow paced.  Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett both seem to be sort of interesting characters, but while they're likeable, they're just sort of there.  They're just standing around, not doing anything particularly exciting or saying anything particularly exciting.  And that's rather impressive, since they're on a murder investigation.

There are a few chuckles, mostly from Harrison Ford.  He doesn't get many comedic roles, and he is rather enjoyable to watch in his comedic moments.  Sometimes.  Other times, he looks like he's trying a bit too hard, and the Masked Reviewer thinks that the slapstick shtick is best left to Leslie Nielsen and Jim Carrey.  Harrison Ford is his funniest when he can be subtle.  He gets many of those moments, but unfortunately a comedy doesn't leave people howling when it's built on subtlety. 

Harrison Ford might have been better able to flex his comedic muscle if there had been a coherent script, rather than constant waffling between suspense and comedy.  The script was, in a word, totally awful.  Okay, that's two words.  A point that you, faithful reader, noticed right away.  The screenwriter for Hollywood Homicide (Ron Shelton) clearly would not have noticed.   Steve Urkel, Mork from Ork, and Larry King wouldn't have enough suspenders for this much disbelief.  Are there only 4 people in L.A.?  It sure seems like an awfully small world in Hollywood Homicide, and that's not even the payoff to any joke! 

The last third of the film has a few laughs, but absolutely nothing memorable.  The Masked Reviewer can't recommend the film, even though the stars are likeable.   Those of you who are looking for a way to kill a couple of hours with a really light flick, Hollywood Homicide is a mediocre time killer.  If you're looking for an interesting thriller, pass this by.  If you're looking for a hilarious comedy, this won't keep you in stitches.

If you are a huge fan of Harrison Ford or Josh Hartnett, you may be able to look past its shortcomings, because you do get to see a lot of both of them.  It's good to see Harrison Ford stretching out, and hopefully he'll get more chances at comedic roles.

It's falls way short of  Running Scared for a cop-buddy movie.  It falls short of Bad Boys, too.   That is, Bad Boys, also.  To find out if it falls short of Bad Boys II too, tune in to the Masked Reviewer in the next few weeks.


Expectation from the Title: The story of the death of Kevin Kostner (well, we can hope, can't we?)

Mother's Rule (Always Say Something Good About Everything):  Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett are cuter than two bugs in a rug.

The Pros: Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett both have moments of incomparable charm.  There are a few relatively funny moments.

The Cons: Terrible, unbelievable, disjointed story.  Comedy or drama?  Neither one. 


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