It's time for another of the Masked
Reviewer's pre-review predictions about what will happen in an upcoming
movie. As always, the Masked Reviewer must state that he doesn't
have any prior or special knowledge about the film, but given his
uncanny knowledge of the industry, he can't help being right (more often
than not). So, while there is a possibility that the Masked
Reviewer's prediction will be completely way off, it is possible that
he'll be just exactly right and don't come crying to him if you have the
whole movie ruined for you by the Masked Reviewer's amazing powers of
For those of you that saw Kill Bill Volume 1, you'll
have a better understanding of what's going on. You might want to
see that before you read this, lest something about Volume 1 be
given away (the Masked Reviewer has seen Kill Bill Volume 1).
First of all, the Bride (Uma Thurman) will get her revenge.
Eventually. Probably not until near the end of the movie.
"Oh sure," you may say, "brilliant prediction." Just you wait.
Next prediction: Lucy Liu's character (O-Ren Ishi) isn't dead.
You may recall at the end of Kill Bill, she was scalped, her
brain was hanging out, but she'll be okay. After all, Uma
Thurman's character was beaten up and shot in the head and she was
fine. Plop that skull hunk back on Lucy's brain, throw in a couple
of stainless steel staples, and she'll be right as rain. Besides,
she fell down in the snow, and that'll keep her brain fresh until help
arrives. It seems like the battle with Lucy and Uma wasn't all it
could've been, so a rematch would be worthwhile.
Who else is an interesting match-up for Uma? Viveca Fox was
dispatched quickly. Michael Madsen is a guy, and he's already
speculated that they're going to pay for what they've done, so he can't
be much of a match for Uma. Daryl Hannah's character only has one
eye, and she seems to be the sneak-around-and-poison kind of bad guy, so
she might come close to killing Uma with poison or backstabbing, but
she'll fail. The climactic battle with have to be with Bill, and
Uma will certainly get hurt badly in that match up. In fact, she
may even die, and kill Bill with her last desperation breath, as is the
custom in revenge movies. It's been suggested that Uma's baby is
alive, so we can pretty much expect that she'll either give up on the
revenge in order to save her baby, or sacrifice her own life to save her
The real question is: is the Groom the father of the baby...or...is
it Bill? The Masked Reviewer's money is on the father being Bill.
It's probably likely that after Uma was "killed", Bill took the baby and
raised it as his own, so the child will have feelings for Bill, making
it harder for Uma to get her revenge.
It seems likely that Sonny Chiba's character, Master Sword Maker
Hattori Hanzo, will be killed by one of Bill's minions after he refuses
to give them a sword, or maybe he'll be killed when he refuses to talk
about Uma. We grew to like him in the first film, which pretty
much screws him for the second film.
It would be great to see the little girl that played Viveca Fox's
daughter come after Uma in the second film and try to kill her, forcing
Uma to kill a 6-year-old girl. That is to say, great in a tragic way.
This is just a hunch, but one can't help but to think there'll be a
little bit of sexual tension in the second part. Perhaps Uma will
go "undercover" in disguise to seduce information out of someone.
It seems like something she should do. Or, maybe she'll meet up
with the Groom again. It seems unlikely that the Groom is still
alive, but if he is, you can bet that he was in on the execution set-up.
The Masked Reviewer is going out on a limb here, but this is the theory:
Bill hired the Groom to pretend to be in love with Uma. Bill found
a way to knock Uma up without Uma knowing so that Bill could have an
offspring with good assassin genes. Or, maybe Bill knocked up Uma
and then Uma left the group because she didn't want to kill anymore.
The Groom sold Uma out, one way or another, and Bill and company showed
up to kill her for betraying him.
In the end, Uma will get her revenge, but only at the ultimate cost.
Yeah, Uma's dead at the end of Volume 2. You know it. She
must be. How could she not be? When does the protagonist
live in a Tarantino film, huh?
PREDICTION RECORDED: October 5, 2003